Let me just get right down to this. Beltane, for me, is a fun day full of fertility and sex. Spring comes leaping upon us like a buck looking for a doe, and I have always found pleasure celebrating this holiday, that is, until this year. As I have posted, this is the first time being alone during spring in many years and I can now officially define ‘cat scratch fever’. Randyness is not suffered well by this random chicken. (For those not in the know here is a randy definition “One way of ensuring that Brits laugh at American sitcoms is to put someone in the program called Randy. This is because randy in UK English translates very well as horny in US English…” )
A few years ago I would have handled things much differently, but listen folks, I am officially in my sexual prime and I am uncomfortable! (This is not a request for takers, so please don’t ask) I can now relate to the angst of young men suffering from blue balls, one track minds and ridiculous thoughts and behaviors. Don’t get me wrong, I am somewhat mature and I am not out there doing anything weird or irresponsible. I am not into any questionable perversions, but this is getting out of hand! So what is a woman who is crawling up walls to do? Yea, you have some ideas I know, so run with them; more than likely a few of those ideas are correct.
I called my mom.
Of course I called my mom; she is one of the most intelligent people I know and we can talk about anything and have. (I was born in the 60’s after all, need I say more?) Really mom, is this normal? I am just not used to this physiological/biological intensity within my own body…what the hell? Between her tears of laughter and gasping for air, she assured me that indeed, I was normal and no, this wasn’t about mind over matter. This is more basic, more animal than that. I always believed that this ‘affliction’ would occur at an earlier age, and that I had possibly just missed it, but nnnnooooo, not me, the perpetual late bloomer and here I find myself looking at men a whole new way. No offense gentlemen, but there are frequent moments within the last month or so when I will look at one of you as an object, a means to an end, a tool and alas, the gender roles have been tweaked in my own mind. (I can hear men laughing all over the world…*sigh*)
Ok, so as a rational human being (really!), I decided to break this down in my mind. A woman in her prime with no partner makes for a real bitch, and as a service to myself, my family, and my co-workers, I decided the only right and compassionate thing to do would be to get laid. This of course opens a whole can of worms in more ways than one. (Yea, I suppose the pun was intended) Well, if you read one of my first posts (younger men), it will illuminate the direction I decided to take. Clichés are clichés for a reason. I think that it was/is a win-win situation for all and, I might add with a side splitting grin, legal!
No one was hurt during the making of my personal Beltaine ritual.
So was it worth it? YES. I feel much better now, thank you for asking. Am I going to do it again? Yep. With the same buck? Certainly. Was it safe? Duh! Any possibility of misunderstanding on his part? No way. This is about biology, maintenance, and self preservation, besides, I don’t have any more urges to bite the dogs and they are grateful for that.
Now the great thing about this, besides the anticipation of a repeat event, is the well spring of creativity that has been flowing through me since. I have been writing again with honesty and intensity. My perceptions have been cleansed. Things are fresh and full of energy again. Isn’t this what Beltaine is about? I thought I had lost all of this to a bad relationship and growing older. Who would have thought a simple matter of good sex could do this? I know some of you out there are sneering, mocking and generally making a nuisance of yourself, so my heartfelt sympathies go out to you. Hey, I didn’t say it was for everyone, I can only speak for myself but if it works, if it is safe, if it is legal, and it is fun, then I’m in.
Merry Spring to all!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Activism
I am so out of the loop sometimes.
My 15 year old informed me that May 15, 2007 is a DO NOT PUMP GAS Day. My initial thought was one of tenderness that there would be enough teenagers in the area to try something like this in an attempt to sock it to the mega giant gas corporations. Then I followed his instructions, did a bit of research this morning, and what do I know? This is looking to be quite big. It is all over MySpace (not a place I frequent) and the word has spread.
PLEASE PASS THE WORD AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN!!!! DO NOT PUMP GAS MAY 15, 2007
something like this was done in the '90's to with a degree of success, and even if it wasn't/couldn't be successful, I will participate anyways. I am very aware of how uber monster large these corps are. I also know they could take a sock in the gut of a couple of million dollars for a day without anything more than a small cough, but damn it! I must have a voice.
I consider myself a realistic idealist. (yea, it does look like an oxymoron doesn't it?) this means that in my heart of hearts, I am an environmentalist, a feminist, and a spiritual rebel, but I know that I will never change the world and its doings. I aspire to only affect positive change among those I know and love and cherish and commune with. I think globally and I act locally. The idealist within me has the perfect vision of the perfect world (and like a good Virgo, I am telling you that it would be clean!:)and the realist knows that these actions are like the salmon swimming upstream to spawn.
I remember seeing salmon swim upstream when I was young. I could not wrap my head around the fact that they were giving their entire lives to swim upstream to a place they had never been to in order to reproduce and die. I just didn't get it. I thought how futile! How silly to be wasting an entire life swimming against a current. How did they have the strength? What keeps them going? How can they actually jump out of the water like that?
As I have gotten older (really older) I have come to understand that there are some things that can not be explained. I have been called tenacious, strong willed, amazingly strong and a bunch of other adjectives that describe my will and ability to overcome numerous obstacles in my path over the years. I can't describe to anyone where the steel in my mind and in my spine come from, it is just there; just like the salmon. There are no alternatives for me; I have this inner radar that keeps me going against the current, against the mainstream. I am focused on a destination that I am familiar with internally, but not necessary on a conscious level. This radar sounds an alarm when I loose myself, and the nice thing is that I have learned how to listen to the warnings on most days.
I am much more mellow within my own skin, without compromising my intensity and determination.
My 15 year old informed me that May 15, 2007 is a DO NOT PUMP GAS Day. My initial thought was one of tenderness that there would be enough teenagers in the area to try something like this in an attempt to sock it to the mega giant gas corporations. Then I followed his instructions, did a bit of research this morning, and what do I know? This is looking to be quite big. It is all over MySpace (not a place I frequent) and the word has spread.
PLEASE PASS THE WORD AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN!!!! DO NOT PUMP GAS MAY 15, 2007
something like this was done in the '90's to with a degree of success, and even if it wasn't/couldn't be successful, I will participate anyways. I am very aware of how uber monster large these corps are. I also know they could take a sock in the gut of a couple of million dollars for a day without anything more than a small cough, but damn it! I must have a voice.
I consider myself a realistic idealist. (yea, it does look like an oxymoron doesn't it?) this means that in my heart of hearts, I am an environmentalist, a feminist, and a spiritual rebel, but I know that I will never change the world and its doings. I aspire to only affect positive change among those I know and love and cherish and commune with. I think globally and I act locally. The idealist within me has the perfect vision of the perfect world (and like a good Virgo, I am telling you that it would be clean!:)and the realist knows that these actions are like the salmon swimming upstream to spawn.
I remember seeing salmon swim upstream when I was young. I could not wrap my head around the fact that they were giving their entire lives to swim upstream to a place they had never been to in order to reproduce and die. I just didn't get it. I thought how futile! How silly to be wasting an entire life swimming against a current. How did they have the strength? What keeps them going? How can they actually jump out of the water like that?
As I have gotten older (really older) I have come to understand that there are some things that can not be explained. I have been called tenacious, strong willed, amazingly strong and a bunch of other adjectives that describe my will and ability to overcome numerous obstacles in my path over the years. I can't describe to anyone where the steel in my mind and in my spine come from, it is just there; just like the salmon. There are no alternatives for me; I have this inner radar that keeps me going against the current, against the mainstream. I am focused on a destination that I am familiar with internally, but not necessary on a conscious level. This radar sounds an alarm when I loose myself, and the nice thing is that I have learned how to listen to the warnings on most days.
I am much more mellow within my own skin, without compromising my intensity and determination.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
My First Link Attempt
Well, this isn't what I wanted it to look like at all.....besides, I am not digging the idea of developing this kind of figure as I get older; proud of the one I have right now.
And another thing, this isn't a link at all, just some obnoxious copying on my part. What was it I said about learning this in a decent amount of time...I feel like a snail rather than Centaur.
And another thing, this isn't a link at all, just some obnoxious copying on my part. What was it I said about learning this in a decent amount of time...I feel like a snail rather than Centaur.
You Are a Centaur |
 In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person. However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways. You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order. You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily. |
I am too old for this **it**
Today I am going to try to advance my tech knowledge. This computer stuff really drives me crazy to tell the truth. I love cruising other blogs, but am so envious that you all make it look so easy with all those tidy links, more than one book listings, and those sometimes cool little quiz thingys, not to mention the numerous other 'shiny' objects on your blog pages.
Being older may mean being wiser....call me owl thank you...but I am definitely wishing I was a savant 'bout now with computers.
K, well, I am off to bang my head against my keyboard now. Today, I will try to learn how to post a link within the actual blog without using the whole www. adress, like all of you pros do. If I manage it within a decent amount of time, I will then try to conquer the 'books I am reading' spot to be able to show more than one book title at the same time.Any who would like to make some suggestions, please do before I give myself a concussion.
Being older may mean being wiser....call me owl thank you...but I am definitely wishing I was a savant 'bout now with computers.
K, well, I am off to bang my head against my keyboard now. Today, I will try to learn how to post a link within the actual blog without using the whole www. adress, like all of you pros do. If I manage it within a decent amount of time, I will then try to conquer the 'books I am reading' spot to be able to show more than one book title at the same time.Any who would like to make some suggestions, please do before I give myself a concussion.
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