Spring and Sex

Let me just get right down to this. Beltane, for me, is a fun day full of fertility and sex. Spring comes leaping upon us like a buck looking for a doe, and I have always found pleasure celebrating this holiday, that is, until this year. As I have posted, this is the first time being alone during spring in many years and I can now officially define ‘cat scratch fever’. Randyness is not suffered well by this random chicken. (For those not in the know here is a randy definition “One way of ensuring that Brits laugh at American sitcoms is to put someone in the program called Randy. This is because randy in UK English translates very well as horny in US English…” )

A few years ago I would have handled things much differently, but listen folks, I am officially in my sexual prime and I am uncomfortable! (This is not a request for takers, so please don’t ask) I can now relate to the angst of young men suffering from blue balls, one track minds and ridiculous thoughts and behaviors. Don’t get me wrong, I am somewhat mature and I am not out there doing anything weird or irresponsible. I am not into any questionable perversions, but this is getting out of hand! So what is a woman who is crawling up walls to do? Yea, you have some ideas I know, so run with them; more than likely a few of those ideas are correct.

I called my mom.

Of course I called my mom; she is one of the most intelligent people I know and we can talk about anything and have. (I was born in the 60’s after all, need I say more?) Really mom, is this normal? I am just not used to this physiological/biological intensity within my own body…what the hell? Between her tears of laughter and gasping for air, she assured me that indeed, I was normal and no, this wasn’t about mind over matter. This is more basic, more animal than that. I always believed that this ‘affliction’ would occur at an earlier age, and that I had possibly just missed it, but nnnnooooo, not me, the perpetual late bloomer and here I find myself looking at men a whole new way. No offense gentlemen, but there are frequent moments within the last month or so when I will look at one of you as an object, a means to an end, a tool and alas, the gender roles have been tweaked in my own mind. (I can hear men laughing all over the world…*sigh*)

Ok, so as a rational human being (really!), I decided to break this down in my mind. A woman in her prime with no partner makes for a real bitch, and as a service to myself, my family, and my co-workers, I decided the only right and compassionate thing to do would be to get laid. This of course opens a whole can of worms in more ways than one. (Yea, I suppose the pun was intended) Well, if you read one of my first posts (younger men), it will illuminate the direction I decided to take. Clichés are clichés for a reason. I think that it was/is a win-win situation for all and, I might add with a side splitting grin, legal!

No one was hurt during the making of my personal Beltaine ritual.

So was it worth it? YES. I feel much better now, thank you for asking. Am I going to do it again? Yep. With the same buck? Certainly. Was it safe? Duh! Any possibility of misunderstanding on his part? No way. This is about biology, maintenance, and self preservation, besides, I don’t have any more urges to bite the dogs and they are grateful for that.

Now the great thing about this, besides the anticipation of a repeat event, is the well spring of creativity that has been flowing through me since. I have been writing again with honesty and intensity. My perceptions have been cleansed. Things are fresh and full of energy again. Isn’t this what Beltaine is about? I thought I had lost all of this to a bad relationship and growing older. Who would have thought a simple matter of good sex could do this? I know some of you out there are sneering, mocking and generally making a nuisance of yourself, so my heartfelt sympathies go out to you. Hey, I didn’t say it was for everyone, I can only speak for myself but if it works, if it is safe, if it is legal, and it is fun, then I’m in.

Merry Spring to all!