How to get back on track

I am not a good capitalist. I realized yesterday while driving that I am just not all that interested in today's culture like the majority of society. This basic, all encompassing fact about myself drives me crazy. I had to go to Kohl's yesterday with my son, who is not a big consumer either thank Goddess, to exchange a pair of jeans for his lanky form. During the entire trip, I couldn't wait to get out of the store. I don't understand the need for 100 different styles of shoes that change every 6 weeks and what good they can be if you can't go walking in the mud with them. What is the point of buying jeans with holes in them? It certainly takes the fun and pride out of putting the holes in them myself through hard work and playing hard. Maybe I have been shopping at the second hand stores for too long because I can not justify spending a ridiculous amount of money on clothing that really is going to be out of fashion in a matter of weeks; this just isn't a good investment for me, but a huge profit for manufacturers. Maybe I am just too practical, but even as a kid, I remember hating the department stores, not needing video games, enjoying books, puzzles and a good bike ride; funny, I still enjoy these activities.

Watching all the people (I tend to do this A LOT) reminds me of a ant farm. Mindless consumerism without a legitimate need is one of the primary downfalls of American culture. This country, even in the rural, rural, rural area that I live in is consumed with the overwhelming pressure to buy more stuff to fill up their obscenely large homes in order to make people feel they are going somewhere in their life, that somehow they have arrived. I am not dense. I understand the mentality of the masses; I just sense the futility of it all.

Again, I make a terrible consumer, full of critique and derision. (I try to tone down the derision part), but I just don't understand why I need a newer TV, a faster computer or more clothes that are just look plain silly. Why is everyone driving up the cost of living this way? Will it ever end? I doubt it, which is why I have a different type of lifestyle and walk a different sort of walk.

I work to pay my bills, but I am not living to work or to spend. I am ambitious, just not in the 'American' sort of way. I do not want to be a big fish in a little pond, in fact, I would love to see all the little fish gang up on the few big fish that are running the show and chase them out of the pond, but alas, I suffer from delusions and idealism, so I have made a few decisions.

First, I will never succumb. I will not be pressured into thinking that Anna Nicole Smith is worth more of my time than the efforts of my Senate to bring my brothers and sisters home from the stupid war. I refuse to associate with Ambercrombie or invite him to my home. (I am not even sure that I know how to spell his name...lol) I do "Just Do It" without the help of Nike. I do not take medication because some cracker jack driving a Mercedes tells me it's safe, when the truth of the matter is the more medication he or she can shove down my throat, the greater the kickback and the bigger car he or she can drive. I do not watch TV or subscribe to the "liberal" media (one of the biggest oxymorons on the planet). I choose to be inconvenienced by recycling, animals and trying to be as nice as possible (difficult with all the idiocy floating around these days...in the air or water I think).

Second, I am spreading the word. I don't think that most people are aware of much of what goes on behind the scenes of big business, so I share what I know as much as possible. This doesn't win me any popularity contests, but I do serve a purpose.

Third; I have a vision. People perish for the lack of vision, and I just refuse to rot like an uneaten piece of fruit. I nourish that vision and talk of it with my family and friends. I connect, plug in, and nourish myself with others that can and do feed my soul. Without this type of communion, I would loose faith.

Well, I suppose I could go on and on like an old re-run, but I won't. I need to go and hug my son and my dog now, so whether this is a well written blog or not, doesn't matter. I followed through and I am off to feed my soul.....

ciao